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Sooner or later,
most teens will have a conflict at school with a bully. Someone who teases, calls people names, hits, pushes, shoves, or steals
from others is a bully. There are some things you should know about bullies and bullying.
- Most bullies lack self esteem
- A bully usually chooses a victim that is shy or stands out in a crowd
- Boy bullies often use physical threats
- Girl bullies often use verbal put-downs
- One out of 4 people who bully
others by age 8 have a criminal record by 30
Bullying occurs more frequently among boys than girls. Teenage boys are much more likely to
bully others and to be the targets of bullies. While both boys and girls say others bully them by making fun of the way they
look or talk, boys are more likely to report being hit, slapped, or pushed. Teenage girls are more often the targets of rumors
and sexual comments.
How does bullying affect teens who are the targets of bullies?
Bullying can lead teenagers to feel tense, anxious, and afraid. It can affect their concentration
in school, and can lead them to avoid school in some cases. If bullying continues for some time, it can begin to affect teens'
self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. It also can increase their social isolation, leading them to become withdrawn and
depressed, anxious and insecure. In extreme cases, bullying can be devastating for teens, with long-term consequences. Some
teens feel compelled to take drastic measures, such as carrying weapons for protection or seeking violent revenge.
If you ever feel like your being bullied, you need to seek out help from others that can help
you.
If You're Bullied
If you're being teased or bullied:
Find a friend you can be with you when the bully is around.
Talk to friends who support you.
Write in a journal about how people's comments make you feel. Then use positive statements about yourself to get past
the hurt and remind you of your good qualities. For example, if a bully says, "You're fat!" say to yourself: "My
weight is not what I wish it would be, but I am a kind, interesting person."
Ignore teasing, bullying, and inappropriate comments. But if the situation is really getting you down, you may want to
stand up for yourself. The best way to do this is to speak back confidently. Say positive things about yourself and talk about
your strengths without confronting the person in a way that might make things worse.
Don't let your emotions take over. Crying or getting angry shows the bully that he or she has hit a nerve and that may
just make the bullying worse. Losing your temper also can make you feel less powerful and in control.
Talk to a school counselor, parent, or other trusted adult and ask for ideas on how to handle hurtful comments.
Protect Yourself from Cyberbullying
Bullying does not always happen in person. Cyberbullying is a type of bullying that happens online or through text messages
or emails. There are things you can do to protect yourself.
Always think about what you post. You never know what someone will forward. Being kind to others online will help to keep
you safe. Do not share anything that could hurt or embarrass anyone.
Keep your password a secret from other kids. Even kids that seem like friends could give your password away or use it
in ways you don't want. Let your parents have your passwords.
Think about who sees what you post online. Complete strangers? Friends? Friends of friends? Privacy settings let you control
who sees what.
Keep your parents in the loop. Tell them what you're doing online and who you're doing it with. Let them friend or follow
you. Listen to what they have to say about what is and isn't okay to do. They care about you and want you to be safe.
Talk to an adult you trust about any messages you get or things you see online that make you sad or scared. If it is cyberbullying,
report it.
Stand Up for Others
When you see bullying, there are safe things you can do to make it stop.
Talk to a parent, teacher, or another adult you trust. Adults need to know when bad things happen so they can help.
Be kind to the kid being bullied. Show them that you care by trying to include them. Sit with them at lunch or on the
bus, talk to them at school, or invite them to do something. Just hanging out with them will help them know they aren't alone.
Not saying anything could make it worse for everyone. The kid who is bullying will think it is ok to keep treating others
that way.
Get Involved
You can be a leader in preventing bullying in your community.
Find out more about where and when bullying happens at your school. Think about what could help. Then, share your ideas.
There is a good chance that adults don't know all of what happens. Your friends can go with you to talk to a teacher, counselor,
coach, or parent and can add what they think.
Talk to the principal about getting involved at school. Schools sometimes give students a voice in programs to stop bullying.
Be on a school safety committee. Create posters for your school about bullying. Be a role model for younger kids.
Write a blog, letter to the editor of your local newspaper, or tweet about bullying.
Discussion Questions
1. What kinds of behaviors are considered bullying? Name some different ways
students are bullied.
2. When does teasing cross the line into bullying? Is name-calling bullying?
3. Have you ever been bullied? How did it make you feel? Have you ever bullied
someone? How did it make you feel?
4. Have you ever spread a rumor? Why can spreading rumors be considered
bullying?
5. What are some of the effects bullying can have on victims?
6. Why do some students bully other students?
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